Finally…a post about what we have been up to!

How can I say what it has been like being back home with the two new additions to our family? At first, it would be likened to a whirlwind of activity visiting my house, like returning from a long vacation with all the usual stuff (piles of mail, email, etc.) except throw in a couple of three year old twins (although they are not actually twins as they are unrelated, they are only one month apart)! Then, throw in the paperwork that needs to be done like citizenship, registration, insurance, adding them to the family through Josh’s employer, doctor appointments, etc. Then, throw in a lot of the post-institutionalization issues and all the issues of integrating some children into a family who have never had one before! Oh, and we purchased an older car- a Volvo station wagon (older car, but new to us!), to replace the little two door civic hatchback my husband drives. We have a van to, but hopefully in a couple of years we can replace that too, it is a Honda odyssey that was the first year it was built. It is a lot smaller than the later models, and not quite as well designed for a larger family. And, of course, it has its issues with getting older as a car. Well enough about cars, I will talk more about the family…

I am going to try to stay on the positive side, so this is not entirely a balanced portrayal. (I fear that if I told you all of the negative things you might not think as highly of them.) I wanted to say that though because future adoptive parents should know it is NOT all a bed of roses upon returning home! That being said, just about every issue they have had has gotten much better over time. Some days we can have a really bad day, with everything going wrong, and then on another day I feel like we have it a lot more together.

Well, I guess I could start by telling you a little more about their personalities. Zoë is my most “girlish” girl in our house. She likes all the “girly” things you associate with little girls. She likes dolls, dressing up like a princess, pink, etc. In her play I can see a lot of development in her. It is a funny thing when you adopt a child that has not lived in the regular world before. For example, when we were in Ukraine, we bought a little store play set with cash register, etc. They never played with that until they had been to a store a few times. Then they liked to play “magazine” (store in Russian). They would get a purse and say “bye, magazine, I love you…” Well, in Ukraine, when Zoë first got her hands on a doll, she only put it in a makeshift potty and hit it in the head a lot. I know, that doesn’t sound so good. But it does not get better yet. Next, her “play” involved mostly spanking it and sticking it in the corner all day. It didn’t get a lot of care, well none really. But then, she started to give it medicine (she saw a lot of us giving medicine to Chloe and Phoebe when they got really sick in Ukraine). After we were home, I would offer some suggestions to her, like maybe she could dress it or feed it. She refused to do that, but only let it take naps. Finally, just about a week or two ago, she started to actually care for it and try to dress it. She even took it for a walk in the stroller. I definitely call that progress. Yes, Zoë seems to have more to work through, like major attention getting behavior and needs for control etc. But like I said, much is improving.

Noah is the typical boy I think. He is very inquisitive and loves to figure out how things work. He likes to use his pockets a lot. Here are a few of the things I have found in them: a doorstopper, the end of a toy stethoscope, candy, chap stick, and matchbox cars. He is more the hoarder and likes to have things that are capable of holding a lot, or “MENOGA” as he calls it. But he also loves a lot of things the girls like too, like dressing up, pretending “train” or “store.” They all like to play outside, but Zoë was the most reserved about any play equipment, because I think they never allowed her to do anything but sit in a stroller outside before. She tried the swing, slide, trampoline, and tire swing etc. They also really like playing with paper and pens and glue and stamps and stuff. I even let them try scissors, which they obviously had no experience with. They like to ask about where “Marina, Nastiya, and Dima” are. I say “at internat in Ukraine.” They say, “oh, and where is Zoë and Noah”? I say “at home.”

Zoë and Noah have also had their first doctor appointments, tornado alarm in the middle of the night, time to brush their teeth, and more. Tomorrow we are even going to try to take the whole crew to church! Noah even had his first “wasteful American” moment, I am sorry to say. He had asked for extra grapes after he finished his meal and I gave him a bunch. Well, he started hearing the other kids playing and I found the whole bunch of grapes in the trash. He would have NEVER done that in the orphanage!

I also wanted to add that at our first orthopedic pediatric appointment, we found out the name for what Zoë has…I guess that’s a start! It was called tibial hemimelia. More on that another time…

Chloe and Phoebe are doing well and seem to be adjusting just fine. One day, while they were sitting and eating their lunch, both Chloe and Noah were kicking their legs under the table. Chloe said something like, “Mom, Noah is kicking me under the table, his legs are in my space.” I said, “I thought you liked having a brother”? and she said, “well, I do except I don’t want his legs in my space.” Chloe has also been suffering from impetigo but she is looking a lot better now. We had been giving her antibiotics and polysporin for that. She was also wearing socks on her hands to stop her from picking and spreading the rash more. The other kids thought that was a great idea and for almost a day the other two were also wearing socks on their hands.

Phoebe just likes to be part of the “gang” and wants to do everything that they are doing. She also loves to wear a hat and a scarf and she goes around seeing what everyone else is doing and usually tries to take things away from them. We are working on that. She must be included in everything, or there is melt down! She has even tried the potty, getting on a stool to wash her hands and brush her teeth, scissors, the big kid play set, and the tire swing.

Thank you too to all of you who prayed for me, I am doing much better after my surgery. In some ways it has been a blessing in disguise. Let me tell you how. Zoë spends a lot of time pretending like she can’t do a lot of things so she can get me to help her do it, thus getting more attention. For example, when we got her, she acted like she didn’t know the first thing about how to put her clothes on or take them off. This was puzzling to me, because I had asked the caregivers very detailed questions before we took her home, and one was about her daily routine. They said she always dressed herself. I was getting suspicious and one day, quite frustrated, said something like “get these on.” I threw her a pair of pants, tights, and a shirt. Well, I came back and she had everything on fine, even the tights which would be more difficult. She has done this with just about everything she can. Anyway, since I cannot lift her for six weeks due to my surgery, when she wants me to help her do this and that, I say I can’t and that I am still sick. Well, she doesn’t want to miss out so of course she figures it out. It also helped us set up our house so it was more Zoë friendly. We have a two step stool in the bathroom for her to get up on the toilet seat all by herself, and the potty seat we bought her has two handles on each side so she has something to hold on to. When she is done she just kneels on her knees on the stool and pulls up her own pull-ups and pants, gets down, and moves the stool to the sink. Then she gets on the stool again and all I have to do is turn the water on and off for her and get soap and the towel. Then she gets down by herself and pushes the stool underneath the sink so it is out of the way.

Josh is doing well too. He had a little setback when one day he pulled his back getting Phoebe out of her crib (probably from doing this a lot more due to my incapacity from surgery). He is doing a lot better now, thank God! Aside from being the father of four small children and attending to a lot of paperwork stuff (like adoption, taxes) he has been working on a lot of car stuff. I am happy to say that today we just sold the old civic! He had been working on that a lot, but today he turned his attention to the station wagon to fix one of the built in booster seats that was broken when we bought it. I am happy to say that he finished that today! Next, he is going to attempt to install the third row back seat we purchased off ebay (update: that's done, too). He also starts a new job later this month so that should be exciting!

That is all for now.

PS, I didn’t get to posting this last night, but I wanted to add that we did make it to church and they did great! I have been having lots of trouble with uploading pictures or video... :(